Friday, 30 January 2009

Chicken! Il n'y a plus de Chic-KEN!!

Its been a long time since my last post about the Quick Burger. Despite it being our only fast food restaurant close by, we go there very rarely. Probably because its so damn expensive. With David and Lily on a school snow trip today, I treated Jasper and myself to a "Menu Giant" which was one burger, small fries, small bottle of water and a sundae for €9.15 (about AUS19!). I was pretty disappointed in my burger - not that it didn't taste good. It was yummy. But man, it was small. That's the sensible french portion sizes for you! It had two patties and cheese but once I shared a third of it with Jasper I was feeling pretty ripped off. Still, I found out from the food panels on the sides of the packaging that lunch was making up well over 50% of my daily fat intake, so I realized that's probably not a bad thing.

Given that last time I ordered from the Quick Burrrr-gerrrr (never easy for me to say!), I was a little lost, I prepared myself this time. I know how it goes there with their use of english words (like chicken, hot dog and giant) all pronounced in a french way. But I still got the look when I asked for my "menu giant". I'd pronounced it with a soft "g" thinking that would be right. But no, David tells me I probably should have said the "g" like in english and the "i" like in french. Ah, I cant win! I'm slowly getting the hang of this from friends who effortlessly pepper their speech and emails with english words like cool, speed and nickel. I can even say some of these without feeling like a right idiot. But when it comes to ordering a burger, I just cant get it right!

By the way, this title of the post comes from David's hilarious impression of a Quick Burger staffer who has run out of chicken burgers! You have to see it to really get it, but believe me, its funny!

cool - calm, laid-back
speed - stressed
nickel - perfect

Friday, 16 January 2009

Because I have nothing to blog about...

Here's a dirty joke to help you practice your french!

Travailler mieux pour gagner plus de temps


Hier soir je suis allé manger 'Chez Ginette'. Avec des potes, on a remarqué un truc bizarre.

Tous les serveurs et serveuses avaient une petite cuillère dans la poche de leur chemisette.
Aussi quand le serveur est venu prendre la commande, je lui ai demandé :

« Pourquoi portez-vous tous une petite cuillère ? ».

Il m'expliqua que Ginette avait demandé conseil à Andersen Consulting qui, après des mois d'analyses, a conclu que la petite cuillère était le couvert qui tombait le plus souvent, à une fréquence de 3 cuillères/table/heure !

Depuis, ils n'ont plus besoin de courir à la cuisine pour chercher une nouvelle cuillère.

L'économie de rendement en temps de travail est estimée à 5,21 %.

L'indice de satisfaction du client se trouve également accru de 3,75 %.

Deux minutes plus tard, je faisais effectivement tomber ma petite cuillère et ça n'a pas manqué : le serveur m'a aussitôt apporté sa cuillère en me disant qu'il en prendrait une autre à son prochain passage en cuisine. Bravo Andersen !

Mais plus curieux, les serveurs avaient tous une ficelle qui dépassait un petit peu de leur braguette. Quand il nous a apporté l'addition, j'ai demandé au serveur à quoi servait cette ficelle.

« Bien observé », me dit-il en baissant la voix,

« Andersen Consulting a aussi vu que nous pouvions gagner du temps dans les toilettes : la ficelle est attachée autour du pénis, on peut donc le sortir sans le toucher et éviter d'avoir à se laver les mains, ce qui représente une économie d'eau, et le temps passé aux toilettes est réduit d'environ 7,39% ».

« Après l'avoir sorti, comment le remettez-vous dedans sans le toucher demandai-je ? »

« Eh bien », me dit-il en chuchotant, « je ne sais pas pour les autres... Mais moi je me sers de la petite cuillère... »

Sunday, 4 January 2009

Happy freaking new year to you too!

I predicted this! I said to David just a week ago that we would probably get a complaint from our neighbour downstairs soon. He's just come back from staying with his children and it was the same time last year that things really came to a head. He hasn't been up to have a whinge for months (not since we put together an Ikea bookcase at 930pm one night.)

But last night, Jasper put on a show at 3am that lasted 2 hours. Then we had the encore at 9am (in which he chucked a tantrum for half an hour because I refused to get out of bed and serve his breakfast when he had a perfectly good father already IN the kitchen ready to serve it for him). It was obviously the last straw as we had the neighbor up here at 11am.

Fortunately, I'd already had my second coffee so I was awake enough to defend myself - which is what it always seems like with him. I listen for half an hour or so to all the ways I am a bad parent/person (I let my children run around, I use the bathroom tap during the night, I sometimes do 3 loads of washing a day, I have a child that doesn't like to sleep and so on). In fact, luckily David was there as he calms the situation. If it was just the neighbour and I, it would get very nasty. He came up to ask us if we plan on moving anytime soon and said that as he hasn't slept well since we moved in (he can't get back to sleep after Jasper wakes him up, which happens every night) they are thinking of selling their apartment. Apart from him suggesting I let Jasper cry it out (which I told him I would not do on the advice of the pediatrician - always better to have medical back-up for my parenting decisions!), he really just wanted to whinge. And after an hour or so, David calmed him down enough that he was able to wish us a happy new year when he left.

But as usual, the whole thing leaves me feeling like crap and wanting to move, which isn't going to happen. I feel bad for him that he can't sleep. I know how that feels - I haven't slept more than 6 hours straight for 5 1/2 years. And that 6 hours was a one-off. Most nights, its more like 3 hours. But that's ok, I've got used to it. I wish he could just get used to it too. Here's hoping for a better night's sleep tonight for all...

Thursday, 1 January 2009

Happy New Year 2009!

We had a rather quiet New Year's Eve, watching the fireworks from our living room then having raclette. I went out early this morning to get some viennoiseries for a treat for breakfast. While I was out I picked up a copy of the local paper, thinking I would be able to see the pictures of the fireworks we saw last night.



But once I got it home, I was surprised when I opened it up and saw this instead!

Really, are we in Annecy or Sydney?

Happy New Year everyone!