Saturday, 31 May 2008

Nightweaning (again)

I know it has to be done ...but I am so tired. This is a lot harder than it was 6 months ago as he has learned how to throw a really beaut tantrum in the meantime. I can only hope it works this time and he starts to sleep longer as I'm not sure how I can keep functioning if I have to get out of bed four to six times a night to stand up and rock and cuddle him back to sleep. God I am so tired (did I say that already?).


F.O.T. said...

I'm so sorry you are feeling tired. A friend of mine has a 4 year old spit-fire of a child and she is pregnant. Every time I see her, she looks like a zombie and can hardly talk the poor woman. I can't claim to know what you are feeling, but I certainly can relate. Oh my!

misschris said...

Aww that is hard for both baby and mommy. I nightweaned Little S by visiting family when he was about 8 months old. There was no choice but to put him in the crib and I was really shocked that it worked. It helped that he was jetlagged. It´s all in my blog and it´s pretty funny.

Hopefully he will enjoy his new bed in short time. It looks like a wonderful little bed!

Penny said...

Thanks Colleen and Chris. We'll get there, I guess. In the meantime, there's always coffee and chocolate to keep me going...

Rosebank Magic said...

This won't be very pc, but can you bribe him? Is there a treat that he really enjoys that you can deny if he yells all night?
We'll talk again soon, I have to check up on you, I'm not worried about Jasper, he'll survive.
Love M

our juicy life said...

i love sleep and can't imagine not getting a full nights sleep and then having the function the next day. I admire you. Many of our customers come in and they are so tired and beat and frustrated...but they love their kids, say it's worth it.

thanks for visiting my blog...our good friend has family in Annecy and will be coming out to see us in Najac and then off to Annecy to see her relatives. We'd like to visit while we are there as well.

JoJK said...

Dear Penny

My threepence worth if you can't stand it...

I think the treat idea has merit, but if he's tantrumming it won't work particularly if it is denying rather than giving. Jasper is already contending with one lot of denial anyway.

I think you are going to be exhausted with the rocking routine. Could you consider hopping into bed with him and sleeping some of the night there? So even if there isn't boob but there is a cuddle! (And some sleep for you.)

(I must tell you that Rafael often pretends to breast feed still - puts his head down and snuggles in and informs me that it was a 'lovely feed' after a couple of seconds. The cuddle is pretty important!)

What moved Raffy from our bed to his bed was the music in the big boy's room. Story tapes he loves too. His favorite is the 101 Dalamations, but I'm a bit suprised he enjoys such a complex story. I reckon you could read Jasper some stories onto an MP3 and give him his own little head phones - just for using in his bed. Raf is still in our bed by morning most days, but he's out like a shot if he can hear music or story in the boy's bedroom. Both big boys use music or story if they wake up, and sometimes they get right out of bed into a cosy reading spot that I have set up. Not great sleepers, but they are pretty considerate of us. The 'dark thoughts' have hit with them both. You can't reason with such things in the early hours, so it is best for them to be able to be distracted from them. I'm not sure toddlers are that different!

Make sure the bed is very comfortable - sometimes a bad mattress doesn't help. And you certainly won't be able to stay and cuddle him with a bad mattress.

Thinking of you

Love Jo

Penny said...

Juicy life - thanks for stopping by. You do get used to it. I dont mind waking up during the night but I dont much like getting OUT of my bed! Annecy is lovely for a visit - so much to see. Good luck with your move.

Thanks Mum for the support. I dont really think he's old enough to understand a bribe, although I have no problem offering him one! In fact, he's offered one everytime. he KNOWS he gets boob at 6am he just wants it earlier. And he hates it when I tell him this in the night - just screams even louder so saying he could have a smartie or something the next day would probably just make him angrier

Jo - I wish! If I could just lie with him in any bed and cuddle him to sleep 6 times a night I would be so happy. But he will not lie in bed! If I take him into either bedroom awake or even partly asleep, he will start pointing at the door to go out again. If I sit down or lie him down, he will sit up, point, scream, cry, bounce up and down on his knees, stand up and try to push me up to stand again. This is the problem. The ONLY way I can get him to go to sleep or back to sleep is boob or rocking him (with me standing- he will not let me do it sitting). Its insane. With Lily I could just lie down and pat her back - so much easier. he wont have a bar of it. I may try the music in his room but he's too little to put in earphones and honestly he's too cranky. He wont have a bar of a bottle of water a dummy or often his doudou. All he wants is me, standing up! Though I do use music outside to calm him down or distract him enough to calm down

You may be onto something with the mattress though. It is harder than ours and he'll often sleep 3-4 hours in our bed whereas last night I was up every 2. Although I did get a 3 hour stretch out of him the first night. Thanks for your help. I know I may have to just put him in his bed and lie with him while he screams until he gets the message but it is so loud and heartbreaking and quite frankly he lasted 2 hours on and off the other night so I think it may take a very long time...

Rosebank Magic said...

Do you have a night light in his room? A small light that glows rather like you had as children might help. You can see we are all getting desperate for you.
Love M

JoJK said...

Oh Dear!

Gosh Pen that's tough.

A hypnotic night light...

Jasper, of course, will be fine but now I'm really worrying about you! Are Jasper's rules any different for David? Or are you reluctant for him to lose sleep - I know that Steph always protects Bradley's sleep like a demon.

I am currently immersed in the Attachment research, and the securely attached child is meant to sleep lots better! Rhesus Monkey Male Infants resist weaning more than do female...I guess that is no help! I'll see if I can find something!


Penny said...

Night light makes no difference at all :)

At least its official - he's a monkey - now wonder its been so hard! I cant really ask David. He is up a fair bit of the night working anyway. He helps out where he can, but often Jasper just gets even angrier


Penny said...

For what its worth, Lily is a excellent sleeper now. All I can do is hope that Jasper grows into it, once the boob is gone...but I suspect I may have to wean him completely to get that to happen

thanks for your thoughts anyway, Jo


Anonymous said...

Hiya Penny

There's nothing worse than lack of sleep, i feel really bad for you - wish we were there to take Jas for a bit so you could at least have a nanna nap!! :)

I would definitely try the music - we did the same for Thandie and Sahara when they moved into their own beds and both still go to sleep with music - they each have a little cd player in their rooms.

Thandie was easier than Rube but was also older. With Sahara we had to put the music on when she first got into bed and i would sit on the end of her bed and we'd sing the songs together while she had her cup of milk and was calm and sleepy. It took about a week of this for her to get used to music meaning bed and sleep. Then i sat on a pillow on the floor for the next week and the following week i stood at the door. It wasn't easy she did do a fair bit of crying and screaming and i attempted a bit of tough love (wasn't real good at it but i tried!!) If she woke during the night i would make Mark go in - she was crankier at first but she calmed more quickly when boob wasn't an option. He'd put her music on and each night she settled more easliy.

I know someone who actually booked herself and her older child into a hotel on the Gold Coast for 3 nights and made her husband do the tough love and be the bad guy because she was getting up 6-8 times a night to a 3 yr old and it was getting worse not better. Apparently it worked a treat and she's off the boob and hasn't asked for it again. Sounds good in theory but i think it would be hard.

Hopefully you're sound asleep right now and have had a nice long stretch of sleep in your own bed :)

If you need a vent/sounding board give me a call/skype.


Penny said...

Thanks Kate. I wish I could go to a hotel but its just not an option. I keep saying he'll have to get used to it - but I dont know - he's incredibly stubborn. But I will try music like you guys did. He loves music so maybe a CD player in their room would work. Talk soon


The Globetrotter Parent said...

We're going through this right now! The Bambino is almost 2 and still not nightweaned.