Sunday, 2 March 2008

So soon

We had some little french friends over to play yesterday. It went really well. Except for when little S came up to me and said in french (obviously), "Lily told me she is not my friend anymore." I was so surprised to hear this - it seems so early for this sort of girly behaviour. But when I asked Lily she tellingly went a deep shade of beetroot so it was very obviously true. She couldn't or wouldn't explain why she'd said it so I just reminded her that S was her very first friend here in France and later we talked about the day we met S and her mum and how happy we'd both been to make a friend in France when we were feeling lonely.

What can you do? I'm sure she picks this up at school, but also I noticed a line like this in a little french book we borrowed from the library. Sadly, I think I need to proofread things a bit more thoroughly before we borrow them. But with borrowing five little 30 page books at a time, I cant quite skim them the way I could in english.

Still, I was impressed with the grammar she used. She's got a handle on using ne...plus for no longer, much better than I do!

13 comments:

Rosebank Magic said...

That's rather sad. Is it definite or is she likely to change her mind next week - one would hope so.
But your are right, unfortunately you are moving in to the next phase of raising a little girl. But I'm sure you are up to keeping on top of the various phases we all went through as children.

Rosebank Magic said...

Another thought. Lily seems to have inherited the family trait of blushing - useful for curbing unacceptable behaviour - especially when observed by others. Take it from one who knows!

Guera said...

Hi Penny - I finally caught up on your blog. The ski trip sounded wonderful (v jealous!)

I have seen (and been shocked by) the same thing with Guerita. I thought we'd have until the teen or at least tween years before we had to deal with this! I've spoken to her teacher about it because I've seen it happen with all the girls in her class and sometimes she comes home quite upset because one of them said she wasn't their friend anymore. I also saw one of her school friends purposely exclude a neighbourhood friend from the group at G's birthday party, which I was very sad about. I think it is universal and it seems to chop and change from day to day, or hour to hour, as to who is "in" and "out". The best we can do is try and remind them how to be kind (like you did) and ride it out I guess. We might be riding it out for the next 14 years though...

Anonymous said...

I think Guera's right - we'll be dealing with this for a good many years to come.

Thandie has been faced with the same thing at kindy and predictably took it all to heart and came home all upset. But i have since heard her saying the same thing to her friends and Sahara when she doesn't get her own way. Needless to say we have had many chats about it.

I find the girls at kindy with older sisters are the the main culprits - nothing like a big sister to teach you how to be a real meanie!

Lovely chatting the other night - let me know if Lily wants to skype and we'll let the girls have a chat.

K

Penny said...

no, Mum it was all over in seconds and then they were playing with a puzzle together. But the blushing will come in handy - it was the first thing David says, that she gets that from me!

Guera and Kate - its good to know its normal, I just thought I'd have another year or two before it started :)

Space Mom said...

To be honest, we were warned about this when Soleil went to pre-K at 4. This is VERY common among girls. They are trying to understand the relationships of friendship. One way to deal is to break off the friendship when they are angry. They almost always make up within a few hours or days.

Just remind her that friends can be mad at each other and still be friends. At this age, they CAN'T comprehend that friendship is not always roses and sugar...

Andromeda said...

I can see even in my youngest CE2 classes that friends change from day to day, based on who is sitting next to who. When I try to move them, they're like "Nooo not HER!" which is just so mean, the kid looks so sad! And of course, by next class, they're BFF again. Such silliness!

screamish said...

Ohhhh....this is all bringing it back to me...those days in Grade 1 in Perth...who was IN and who was OUT...I'm getting that uneasy flashback feeling...! Little girls can be Hell!

mammaclaudia said...

Good, you found the positive side!

It is surprisingly what you can find in an apparently "innocent" kids book...

Thank you for your kind comment on my blog.

Are you coming to one of the next "Tricot-thé" meetings? I would really like to meet you.

Penny said...

Screamish - are you from Perth too - small world!

Claudia - I'd love to meet you too but getting to tricot thé has become difficult due to Jasper's terrible sleeping. If you ever come into Annecy one weekend,let me know and maybe we could meet up at a park or something (if its warm enough!)

:)

mammaclaudia said...

I will!

Anonymous said...

Hello penny and co! Lucky you studies phsychology it will come in handy the next 20 yrs or so. Well it´s healthier for the friendship complexities to be played with now and oportunities for you to gently influence lily rather than when her mind is less pliable. Not that bad to have it in a book, think of the old noddy editions, I almost gagged stumbling over some not so diplomatic text. And all those bloodthirsty old fairy tales. Lucky we turned out so well.
Back in BA arter visiting Urugay. Keep up the polemic topics, gees look at the response and you haven´t even touched on politics yet.
Hugs MIMI

JoJK said...

Hiya Pen!

Have just read all your posts that I had missed since Christmas!

I have just weaned Rafael: we were both ready, my boobs and him too! It's happened in just two easy days. (I fell at the post at the night-weaning.) Tomorrow I go to Perth and am rejoicing at the thought of underwire and uplift.

I have a new deadline and SO MUCH new information to include: did you know, for example, that you are right now in the process of growing your right brain? Mothers have a spurt to match that of their infants until the age of three. I'm having a ball.

It seems that Lily can already empathise well (hence the blush) but it is a much harder thing to control those impulses to hurt...to hurt back? You never quite know what is happening between children, and sometimes it is harder to give your own the benefit of the doubt. In my case it is trying to give them all the benefit of the doubt...

Off to bed, very happy as I have found the last puppy a home with a little girl and an a mostly-at-home Mum. (They are Koolie-Golden Retriever crosses, most unexpected!)

Love Jo