Wednesday, 7 November 2007

Motherguilt

I'm back. What a week. I could write for ages about what has gone on but it would only depress me and bore everyone else, I suspect. So here, in as few and concise bullet points as I can manage, is what I've done this week...

- nightweaned a very reluctant Jasper due to possible dental issues. Let's just say he did not give up without a fight (especially the first night).
- restrained Jasper at a doctor's appointment while he was weighed and measured, all the time screaming and looking at me through teary eyes as if to say "why are you letting them do this to me Mummy?"
- restrained Jasper again at the hospital laboratory for a blood test ordered by the doctor who thought he looked pale. Anemic? Surely not? I thought...
- listened as another doctor explained he has pronounced anemia, has had it for a while and it has slowed his growth
- realized three guilt filled hours later that the doctor also said that once his iron levels are ok again he will start to catch up (its so hard not being fluent in french, when it comes to important health issues)
- restrained Jasper yet again while he took his first dose of iron
- brushed his teeth at least 35 times in an attempt to stop a dodgy little grey spot becoming something worse

Actually in point form it doesn't sound so bad. And I realize that these issues are not life threatening and that we have at least discovered the anemia before it became even worse. But then there is the guilt. I am the mum...I should have known, I should have realized...

8 comments:

mammaclaudia said...

Hi Penny, my name is Claudia, I'm Italian from Turin and I will move near Annecy in december. I've found the link to your blog on "Tricot thé Annecy". You have a very nice blog and very interesting story. About your last message, I just wanted to tell you... you don't have to feel guilty. It is true: you're the mum, you're not the doctor. And you see your child every day, so you get used to his paleness, day by day (I don't think it changed overnight). You seem to be a very careful mother, and what happened to your son is not your fault. And I am sure he will be alright very soon!

Grominou2 said...

Sounds like a tough weeks! big hugs to you and Jasper!

Piero P Giorgi said...

If anything, we all are guilty, as I don't remember Jasper being pale when we were there recently. And mammaclaudia is right: it is easier for a school teacher to notice possible differences between kids; difficult for mum always in front of him.
Such a careful mother like you should not be feeling guilty at all. In any case, iron must be running through his veins already and then you can explore with doc ways of preventing a recurrence.
A big big hug pierononno

mammaclaudia said...

I guess Pierononno is your dad... do you have italian origins?

Penny said...

Hi Claudia. Thanks for stopping by my blog and for your kind comments. I checked out your blog late last night but will need to be a little more awake to try and read italian! I am australian but my husband is italian and Nonnopiero is his father.

Have you spent much time in Annecy? We are very happy here - its a gorgeous place. Maybe we'll see you at Tricot Thé? :)

Grominou - it was tough but I feel like I'm moving on...

Thanks again Piero :)

mammaclaudia said...

Hi Penny, I am translating my blog into french and english, as we have friends and relatives all over the world... so if you want to have a look you can now.
I did not spend a lot of time in Annecy but my husband (who is french) have been living there years ago. I'm looking forward to be there and... to join the tricot thé!

PutYourFlareOn said...

one mom to another mum, I want to send you hugs. I can imagine how hard this is for you.

Here's to easier weeks in the near future. Take care of yourself.

:)

Penny said...

Thanks Aimee :)